Dear Young Mama
My family has a New Year’s Eve tradition where we write a letter to our future selves. We open it a year later, on New Year’s Eve. It’s fun but sometimes discouraging. I’ve learned that writing a list of goals as a motivational tool can fall flat as you read through the list the following year, only to discover you haven’t accomplished much. Today, I’m writing a letter to my past self, a dear young mama. There is so much I’d like that young mama to know and my hope is that it can make a difference for you. Dear Young Mama, You are struggling to make a decision about whether to homeschool your children or to enroll them in public school. There are many things to consider but here is the truth. It will be easier to send your children to school if you decide that homeschooling isn’t a good fit than it will be to pull your children from school if you decide that school isn’t a good fit for you. Consider finances. I know the plan is for you to go back to work once your children are school age but the finances are going to be there as you need them. The Lord is going to provide and it’s going to be faith building to see how He does it. You are going to have to budget, there will be sacrifices, and lean times but there will also be amazing financial surprises along the way. Start today by praying for financial wisdom. Ask the Lord to reveal to you any financial beliefs, desires, and habits that are contrary to His word. Spend the needed time uprooting financial idols. Confess the worldly desires of your heart, He knows what they are anyway. You will need His grace to change, you can’t do it in your own strength. Once you have started to work on your heart, you need to implement some tools. Start by writing out a budget and then figure out a system to keep track of the spending. There is no need to buy a program for this, pen and paper will work just fine but I am a fan of YNAB (You Need A Budget). Take some time to figure out exactly what your husband makes per hour (after income tax and all the other deductions). This will help you when you are tempted to spend beyond what is needed. Ask yourself in that moment, “Is this item worth my husband having to work X amount of hours for us/me to have this?” Finally, figure out what you can do to earn some “Proverbs 31” income. The size of this endeavor will depend on the time and energy you have, the level of responsibility your husband has at his job, and the amount of home and family responsibilities that he’s able to take on. But please realize that even if you can only earn and save $100/month, it will richly bless your family 20 years from now. Consider relationships. Your friend group is going to change and not all family members are going to be supportive of homeschooling. Don’t worry, you are going to meet heaps of incredible families and you’ll meet your most treasured friend amongst those families. Try to remain quietly confident and strong-minded but tender-hearted towards the critics. The fruit grows slowly, be patient, they’ll start to see. Don’t consider whether you are smart enough. Others will question and you’ll wonder if you are smart enough to homeschool your children. Don’t waste your time pondering this question. There will be an incredible variety of curricula for you to choose from that will help you educate your children. Many people have gone before you and they will be a blessed resource. Ask lots of questions, take notes, don’t be afraid to tweak the advice to fit you and your family, and twenty years from now you’ll be writing a blog post encouraging mamas with your own thoughts. Consider your priorities. Develop a firm grasp of what your priorities are. Build a habit of being in the Word daily, become a prayer warrior, and worship, and serve on a regular basis. Make your husband your next priority. It’s a mistake to neglect this relationship and it’s so easy to do. Next in line are the children. It can get tricky here as you figure out how to serve the Lord as both a dear young mama and teacher to your children; mama should show up first. Consider how you will organize. If you have a kitchen table, then you have space to educate your children. What you will need are bookshelves. I’ve yet to go into a homeschooling home that doesn’t have walls full of books. Homeschool mamas develop a special relationship with books so get yourselves some bookshelves. Paper! There is so much paper. It enters your house in many forms: workbooks, worksheets, journals, creative writing, reports, printables, artwork, and more. Spend some time thinking about what you are going to keep and how you are going to store it. Do Not, I repeat, Do Not buy a plastic bin to store all the paper thinking that you’ll get to it another day. Consider time. Theatre Class Dance Class Creative Writing Class Art Class Self-Defence Class Martial Arts Soccer Football Baseball Basketball Hockey Gymnastics Homeschool Co-op Youth Group Swimming Lessons Skating Lessons Outdoor Club Archery Field Trips There is no shortage of good things to participate in. Take time to create a vision and some boundaries regarding how you will spend your time and then make decisions that align with your vision and boundaries. Dear young mama, don’t ever consider that homeschooling will save your children. There is no checklist or formula that ensures your children will become followers of Christ. If there were, you would be owed the glory for the salvation of your children. Homeschooling will protect your children from worldly influences for a time, but it won’t protect
Focus on Habits, Not Resolutions and Goals!
Nope, not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I do not need to set myself up to underachieve in one more area of my life. We’re already behind in our Language Arts program and the Latin Words flashcards still have the cellophane wrapping on them. But the start of a new year seems too significant to allow it to just pass by. Let’s face it, this time of year begs for reflection, hope, and planning but I’m encouraging you to ditch the resolutions and those pesky cousins…goals. Instead… Reflect Grab a pen and start writing about your year. What was fantastic and what flopped? Keep what worked and ditch what didn’t. This exercise can be done in note form. Hopes and Plans What are your hopes and plans for this year? Write them down; get them on paper. I know, these sound just like resolutions and goals, and the truth is I’ve repackaged them a bit. But keep reading. Goals do give you a direction and something to aim for but that’s about it. Too often I’ve made the mistake of thinking that goal setting will get me to where I want to be and the truth is that it doesn’t! Build a Habit As you focus on your hopes and plans, I encourage you to think in terms of habits. What habits can you change or develop that will help get you closer to your hopes and plans for the year ahead? By the way, when you are deciding on which ones to focus on, start with the one that causes you the most stress, anxiety, and worry. Y’know the one that keeps you up at night? Yeah, that one…choose that one! Once you’ve identified the biggest, most challenging goal ahead of you, it’s time to start figuring out what habits need to go, change, or be developed. Think it through, write it out, then start implementing the habits that will you help you get to your destination. Even small, seemingly insignificant habits can have a huge impact over time. A Personal Flop One of my flops in 2019 was reading novels aloud to my children. It didn’t really happen. That changed in 2020 and it was addressing habits that really made the difference. I changed the time of day and location from late afternoon on the couch to first thing in the morning, in pajamas, on my bed, under the covers with my kiddos. What a great way to start a homeschool day and the new habit changed everything. Sidenote, did you know that you can wake up, exercise, do your personal devotions, shower, and then put your pajamas back on and crawl back into bed with your kiddos? A 2021 Hope At the top of my hopes and plans list for 2021…BEDTIMES! This is going to be big for us and many habits will need to be addressed to make this plan a reality. I will need more time to sit and think through things but my guess is that it will need to start with our dinner time habits. An earlier dinner time would certainly make room for a better bedtime routine. I hope you can see that stating resolutions/goals isn’t really enough. You need to develop habits…good ones! by Adrianne Curwen Adrianne is a wife to a public-school educator/administrator and a homeschooling Mama to seven children, ranging in age from 7 to 23. She believes that we have a unique opportunity as homeschoolers to design individualized education that suits giftings, interests, and passions. She and her husband have used a blend of registered homeschooling, enrolment with independent DL schools, and participation in public trade school programs to design individualized programs for their children. She is passionate about using as many read-alouds, picture books, novels, and conversations to educate her children but also gets excited by the amazing homeschool-designed curriculum that’s out there. Adrianne is thrilled by her new role as Communication Specialist for Classical Education Books and is grateful to have an opportunity to learn something new. She is grateful, every day, for her saviour, Jesus Christ, and has no greater joy than when she sees her most important missions field walk with Him.
Book Stack for Boys
Send the boys in your life on an adventure with these books. Visit a graveyard with Tom Sawyer, battle wolves in The Green Ember, or run away to Catskill Mountains in My Side of the Mountain. If you have a reluctant reader then head off on the adventure with him and try a read-aloud. Get caught up in the emotions of Lassie Come-Home, travel back in time to Egypt in The Cat of Bubastes, or maybe you want to spend some time in the fantasy land of Middle Earth in The Hobbit. What’s left? King Arthur, Little Britches, The Bronze Bow, Homer Price. You could order a few copies of the same book and try a book club. by Adrianne Curwen Adrianne is a wife to a public-school educator/administrator and a homeschooling Mama to seven children, ranging in age from 7 to 23. She believes that we have a unique opportunity as homeschoolers to design individualized education that suits giftings, interests, and passions. She and her husband have used a blend of registered homeschooling, enrolment with independent DL schools, and participation in public trade school programs to design individualized programs for their children. She is passionate about using as many read-alouds, picture books, novels, and conversations to educate her children but also gets excited by the amazing homeschool-designed curriculum that’s out there. Adrianne is thrilled by her new role as Communication Specialist for Classical Education Books and is grateful to have an opportunity to learn something new. She is grateful, every day, for her saviour, Jesus Christ, and has no greater joy than when she sees her most important missions field walk with Him.
Book Stack for Girls
Books have much to offer our girls. These titles are packed with adventure, life lessons to explore, emotions to face, and new things to learn. Embark on a conversation about how we should treat others and the regret that follows when we don’t do the right thing, as you read The Hundred Dresses. Introduce your daughter to another culture in Where The Mountain Meets the Moon. And have fun with Caddie Woodlawn as you travel back to the 1860s. Is your girl all about horses? Then you need to get your hands on Misty of Chincoteague. I have a girl that was so intrigued by the fact that she kept forgetting Heather was a rabbit in The Green Ember. Meet the Melendy children in The Saturdays as they come up with a clever way of getting the most out of their Saturdays. Or how about planning a girl’s movie night? Don’t forget to read the book first. You have a few to choose from: The Secret Garden, Heidi, Anne of Green Gables, and Charlotte’s Web. by Adrianne Curwen Adrianne is a wife to a public-school educator/administrator and a homeschooling Mama to seven children, ranging in age from 7 to 23. She believes that we have a unique opportunity as homeschoolers to design individualized education that suits giftings, interests, and passions. She and her husband have used a blend of registered homeschooling, enrolment with independent DL schools, and participation in public trade school programs to design individualized programs for their children. She is passionate about using as many read-alouds, picture books, novels, and conversations to educate her children but also gets excited by the amazing homeschool-designed curriculum that’s out there. Adrianne is thrilled by her new role as Communication Specialist for Classical Education Books and is grateful to have an opportunity to learn something new. She is grateful, every day, for her saviour, Jesus Christ, and has no greater joy than when she sees her most important missions field walk with Him.
Book Stack for Mamas
Keep-er /ˈkēpər/ 1. a book that has worn edges, dog-eared corners, and pencil markings because it has been poured over many times similar meanings: treasure trove, gold mine, cache The books listed here are all keepers. Many of them should probably just remain in your “to periodically review” pile as there really is too much to be mined during the first read-through. Mere Christianity is a Christian classic and Pride and Prejudice is a literary classic. Don’t miss out on either of these. For the Children’s Sake is an educational classic and is a title commonly seen on recommended reading lists for homeschooling mamas along with The Well-Educated Mind. Other titles that are sure to inspire you on your mothering and homeschooling journey are Mere Motherhood and The Life-Giving Home (on my personal wishlist). Pick up a copy of 30 Poems to Memorize or On Reading Well and you’ll be encouraged to fill your mind with beautiful things. In Age of Martha, you’ll be challenged to rest, allowing time for contemplation. Finally, amongst all the moving parts of a homeschooling family, you’ll never regret the time you spend reading aloud to your children. The Read-Aloud Family will help you get started or revive you whether you have toddlers or teenagers. by Adrianne Curwen Adrianne is a wife to a public-school educator/administrator and a homeschooling Mama to seven children, ranging in age from 7 to 23. She believes that we have a unique opportunity as homeschoolers to design individualized education that suits giftings, interests, and passions. She and her husband have used a blend of registered homeschooling, enrolment with independent DL schools, and participation in public trade school programs to design individualized programs for their children. She is passionate about using as many read-alouds, picture books, novels, and conversations to educate her children but also gets excited by the amazing homeschool-designed curriculum that’s out there. Adrianne is thrilled by her new role as Communication Specialist for Classical Education Books and is grateful to have an opportunity to learn something new. She is grateful, every day, for her saviour, Jesus Christ, and has no greater joy than when she sees her most important missions field walk with Him.
Book Stack for Dads
Many fathers are out of the house, working during the day, leaving the Moms to do the lion’s share of the homeschooling. It’s a setup that often makes sense but a father’s involvement is a blessing to his wife and children so we’ve selected a stack of books to help. There is something here for all dads. A few of these books will take you back to glean the timeless wisdom from writers who lived before you. Beowulf the Warrior is the retelling, in modern language, of a fictional classic, it would be a great one to start as a read aloud. The Emperor’s Handbook is a translation of Marcus Aurelius’ meditations. Major themes include character, leadership, and duty. You could explore the meaning of life in the 17th-century classic, Paradise Lost, or sink your teeth into G.K. Chesterton’s, Orthodoxy. Are you looking for something more specific to homeschooling? Try The Liberal Arts Tradition or The Well-Educated Mind. The Name of the Rose is part historical fiction, part mystery, and part theology; a fictional piece that challenges. If you are looking for something to fulfill the pragmatic side then try State of the Arts, Total Truth, or Good Man. Undecided? The links will take you to a full description of each title. by Adrianne Curwen Adrianne is a wife to a public-school educator/administrator and a homeschooling Mama to seven children, ranging in age from 7 to 23. She believes that we have a unique opportunity as homeschoolers to design individualized education that suits giftings, interests, and passions. She and her husband have used a blend of registered homeschooling, enrolment with independent DL schools, and participation in public trade school programs to design individualized programs for their children. She is passionate about using as many read-alouds, picture books, novels, and conversations to educate her children but also gets excited by the amazing homeschool-designed curriculum that’s out there. Adrianne is thrilled by her new role as Communication Specialist for Classical Education Books and is grateful to have an opportunity to learn something new. She is grateful, every day, for her saviour, Jesus Christ, and has no greater joy than when she sees her most important missions field walk with Him.
